Wanna Make a Memory...my journey

a new year

2011-02-05T08:39:00.003-05:00

Wow, even in the moment when time passes so slowly, you look back and realize another year has passed......OMG. i have so neglected my blog, i know. things have changed and changed again, and again, and yet again. I am blessed i know this in my heart, still hard to move forward sometimes evwen knowing that.
My sister is still a constant force in my life, always there with a kind and solid shoulder for me. My joy is being able to see my nieces and godson everyday. They fill me wiht joy. My niece Kaitlyn, who will be 17 next month (OMG) got me Katy Perry tickets for my birthday this year and we are going together....she is the greatest kid i know. Love her to pieces. Ok i'm rambling now, lol...gonna go for now, just wanted to check in....if anyone is still reading that is!!! Bye for now.

Life is Good

2010-08-28T12:20:00.002-04:00

Life is good. I am blessed with a new beginning, new passion for talents i have put away for too long now, and of course my wonderful family and friends. Life is definetley good. Amen!

18 years ago..........

2010-08-23T19:09:00.002-04:00

18 years ago today i was 20 years old and madly in love with a wonderful young man. We had an amazing wedding day, it was wonderful knowing that that night we would be free to go home to OUR home and just stay with each other forever. Sometimes forever isnt as long as you think. Sometimes you have to let go even though you want to hold on and on and on. Seperation for 2 years has gone by quickly in hindsight but feels like years taken off of my life. Moving on time is here, has been for a while in little baby steps but the time is now. I wish you all the peace love and joy you couldnt have with me. I set you free. My heart is my own now. Bear will never be the same, but she won't be sad for much longer that its over, just be blessed and thankful you happened. Always.

Waking

2010-07-28T07:05:00.003-04:00

Wow what a summer so far. Hectic, crazy, scary, depressing, exciting, wonderful and freeing. So many things have happened and things are still evolving everyday. Trying to push forward while having the past attatched to your ankles is hard work....but even if we drag ourselves an inch at a time, it's better than staying stuck isn't it? I move forward then get stuck for a few days at a time...gotta lose those demons that keep following me around, tell them to beat it and not come back. But it's really not their fault if i keep opening the door when they knock, now is it?
I was just in Italy for 10 days. It was a dream trip for me, but unfortunately the little devils hopped into my suitcase when i wasnt looking. I did a good job of losing them for most of the trip, but towards the end of my amazing, breathtaking, fun trip there they were, just waiting in the aiport. I didnt want to come back here. I have actually played with the idea of moving to Italy....Sicily actually. I have family there and could lead a very quiet peaceful life in a small small town. I could paint and write and read to my hearts content. Write letters to my friends back here and just worry about me. Just one problem with that idea....i would miss my family too much. That family consists of this amazing woman and her mom, husband and kids who took me in like one of their own. We live so close now and that makes me feel safe and protected and loved...unconditionally. I dont think i can give that up right now. Maybe not ever.
When i look back on my trip, and the return from it a lot is crystal clear. I didn't want to return here to the sometimes chaotic and messy thing called my life. The anxiety about those pesky loose ends came crashing down on me...shaking off the dust now and just getting on with it.

The bend in the road.......

2010-06-03T09:55:00.003-04:00

The bend in the road is not the end of the road....unless you refuse to take the turn.- Anon.

I will continue to make mistake after mistake...no doubt about that. But i am learning from each and every one, that is the difference. I shut my eyes so i could stay blind for so long, now i want to see.....see it all. The good, the bad, the painful. Life goes on. Pain and hurt diminish over time. I am surrounded by love every single day, blessed with a family that has made me one of their own, i owe them so much and love them all more than words can say. I am here, i am finally living instead of just existing. I am feeling, instead of just numbing. I have dreams and goals. I can do anything i set my mind to, even when i dont believe it! Fake it till ya make it, lol....So, my journey has taken turns i never thought possible, never fathomed that this would have been my life, but there is a blessing in every storm...so i have my raincoat ready, but will keep looking for the sun.

Today is the best present

2010-05-14T04:48:00.002-04:00

Remember the good times, let go of the bad....the only thing that is constant is change. You can't go back in time, but you can strive to make your today the best present to yourself. Love, forgive, believe, dream. Always and forever i will consider myself So Blessed.

Locks of Love....XoXoXo

2010-04-11T08:08:00.002-04:00

This is my niece Kristen. She donates her hair to Locks of Love, i think this is her third time! It makes me so proud, she doesn't even flinch about it, just knows that she is doing something good for someone else. She has a huge heart and it shows in everything she does....love you Kristen......xoxoxo

Boo

2010-04-04T09:31:00.003-04:00

This is Boo, my little love muffin. I was hesitant about taking in a dog because it hasn't worked out well in the past, but i must say this little guy has brought me so much joy in the last few days i cant imagine life without him now. He loves to snuggle and go for walks ( which is good for my ever expanding butt, lol) and he is happy to just lay around with me and have me pet him! Thats the kind of doggie i always wanted...love you boo boo!!!!

Inspired Life

2010-02-26T10:58:00.002-05:00

Barbara Esp was one of the most genuine loving people i have ever known. She passed away on Thursday February 18,2010. I will miss her greatly. She lived a life full of joy, living each day to the fullest and not taking one second for granted. She danced, traveled and spread love and cheer wherever she went. As our friend Chad said in his eulogy, she is someone who made you want to be a better person, to enjoy things more. She also gave us a great gift in her and Ed's daughters. Jacki and Michelle are two of my closest friends, always there no matter what the situation, open armed with love and support, free of judgement. I am blessed to have them in my life and count them among my family. Barbara will be greatly missed, but will never be absent, her spirit is here with us everyday in so many ways...a heart shaped rock, in Jacki's smile, Michelle's face, Jackson's laugh....always here in our hearts.

Bitter and Sweet of 2009

2009-12-21T14:02:00.008-05:00

There have been so many many changes this past year. As i have said in previous posts it was probably the worst year of my life. And yet.....so many joyous days and memories sprinkled in between. I found out who my friends and family truly truly are....i am becoming the person i want to be, on my own and yet with a little help from those that know me and love me unconditionally. Some days are still incredibly difficult, scars remain, pieces of myself still lie scattered about but slowly i am coming together again. While the new year ahead holds great promise and the excitement and some fear of what is unknown, i am ready. For all of it. Making it through the past year, i know now that i can make it through anything. It helps to have loved ones on my side. There is sadness that still remains over those i have lost, but i know there is purpose and a lesson in that for me, one that i will never ever forget. I can be judged only by my Creator, no one else has that power. I have so many times given my power over to others by my actions, my dependency, my need to be accepted....i dont need that outside validation anymore. If i dont give it to myself it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks.

2009 held so much.....

1. great concerts...matt nathanson and erin mccarley, natasha bedingfield, joshua radin (although i love him more in my ipod)

2. packing up a home by myself, leaving it behind, along with a life that i never thought would end...

3. Starting over, losing friends that were like family, but in the end that was a good thing....

4. Learning about myself, finding me....still seeking a bit, but getting there little by little

5. Working, learning to love something i had never done before, becoming confident in my capabilities

6. Meeting new people who have been a wonderful support system through that work.

7. Reconnecting with old friends who were never forgotten, glad to see some of them still are the genuine sweet people i remember.

8. Learning to deal with dissappointment in a more productive way....being more in control.

9....so much more....bitter and sweet ......but grateful. There is a lesson in every little thing. I am so blessed and i will never forget that again.

I have to take a class starting right after Christmas which was not in the plans and has thrown me for a loop but i will do it....bring it on, lol.

This new year for me is about recovering physically from a very intensive sugery at the end of January, which although will take quite some time, will pass as does everything else. Then it will be time for (hopefully) interviews and more entrance exams and finding out what program i will be starting in 2010, God willing i get into one. If not ,then i will try again next year. I also want to concentrate on making time for my artwork again. I miss my paints and brushes and letting thoughts spill out in color...i must get back to that as soon as i physically am able to. A trip is on my mind as well. I want to go to Italy, to visit family, but even more so to see Tuscany. It holds a lot of meaning for me...and though i hope to have a companion for the trip, i will go alone if i must...which would be totally frightening and insane but i want it bad enough to do it.

So i leave you with some pictures, memories of this past year, both sweet and sad.....but all part of me. I wish you all a very Happy Christmas , have forgiveness and hope in your hearts, love one another and be grateful for all you have. Hugs, Namaste.

GOODBYE 2009.......letting you go and moving on.......ciao.

Thoughts Spilling.........

2009-11-10T23:04:00.002-05:00

This is a painting i did on a particularly difficult night, staying in a wonderful little B&B upstate. Sitting in a room by myself (unless of course you count Joshua Radin on the iPod there with me) confronting all the things that were and still are going on....thoughts spilling out around this girl who just can't open her eyes up just yet....still waiting...still searching...still seeking for the purpose as to why she is where she is.......
Still many changes going on. I finally moved...bittersweet. But to look on the positive side, it's a new beginning. Still working on my art room, it is a complete and utter mess, as is my computer room, but will have them both sorted out by the time i have my housewarming party (fingers crossed). Life has been pretty topsy turvy this year...both some of my worst days ever in my existence, mingled with some of my best days ever. Reconnecting with old friends, finding out who my true ones are and making the changes i need to make in order to be the best person i can be...my true authentic self is emerging slowly. Very slowly....but patience was never one of my strong points. Missing all my old blog friends as well...hope to hear from you soon......and looking forward to what's been going on in your world.
Hugs. Love. Namaste.

Thank you Misty Mawn

2009-09-18T00:19:00.000-04:00

what the artist taught me

...art seeps into all your crevices
like a low, soft river
or crashed through your blood
like whitewater.

art is alive,
it grabs you at night, keeps you
working until dawn,
in the morning keeps you
looking, looking
seeing with your whole body,
keeps you open like flowers,
bursting like seed pods,
keeps you speaking aloud
the truth you did not know
you knew
*

Even the dark won't stop you....

2009-09-14T08:53:00.000-04:00

Even the Dark Won’t Stop You
September 14, 2009

how to climb a mountain
by the magical Maya Stein

Make no mistake. This will be an exercise in staying vertical.
Yes, there will be a view, later, a wide swath of open sky,
but in the meantime: tree and stone. If you’re lucky, a hawk will
coast overhead, scanning the forest floor. If you’re lucky,
a set of wildflowers will keep you cheerful. Mostly, though,
a steady sweat, your heart fluttering indelicately, a solid ache
perforating your calves. This is called work, what you will come to know,
eventually and simply, as movement, as all the evidence you need to make
your way. Forget where you were. That story is no longer true.
Level your gaze to the trail you’re on, and even the dark won’t stop you.

New Path....New Life...New Adventures....

2009-09-13T11:41:00.000-04:00

there is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.

- tennessee williams

Imagine Magazine is up and running......

2009-08-29T08:54:00.004-04:00

My amazing friend Melanie C. Jordan created an wonderful magazine that showcases artists of all kinds...and she was kind enough to include me with an interview and a couple of my paintings... Please check out her online magazine (soon I hear to be in print as well!!!!!) And thank you Mel....love ya.

You can also click on the highlighted words to get to the link! Let me know what you all think.....*smiles*

Been forever.......

2009-08-25T09:54:00.002-04:00

It has been forever since i have blogged, so many changes to deal wtih the past year...looking forward to moving on from limbo into a settled (as much as it can be) new life..two weeks ago i felt the urge to create...can't wait until i can do this more and more and get back to what i love. Take care all and hope everyone is well...missing my blogland friends very much!!!!

Done........

2009-04-01T12:07:00.003-04:00

I finished her....there is text in the background that may be difficult to see from the photo, but all of it means something...what it says underneath:

hold on to your heart girl
could i have eased your pain
maybe
save you
ti amo
no more
te voglio bene
love her

working on another piece as well...cant wait to see what this one evolves into.....

Working....

2009-04-01T09:17:00.003-04:00

Feeling the creative juices flowing again...working on the angel that has been staring at me for months...She is going in a different direction than i had originally thought she would go, and i am thrilled so far. My emotions have been spilling onto the canvas and coming out like i want them to. That hasn't happened in such a long time. Inspiration is found in the most unexpected places lately...and sometimes I fail to see what is really really good for me, moving towards the toxic instead of the good...but both good and bad fuel creativity. I will take the inspiration wherever i can get it these days, picking up a paintbrush and touching canvas, and running my fingers through the paint, feeling it...making me come alive again.*sigh* i missed this....

wanna........

2009-03-30T08:12:00.002-04:00

Wanna be on a beach, in the sunshine, free from stress and pain. Wanna hold the hand of someone i love and feel that my heart is safe in those hands. Wanna be fearless every single day, jumping into life head on with not so reckless abandon but still...with abandon.I want to dance in the light of the moon on foreign ground, in a place that is a part of me.....to experience joy in corners i never thought it would be......i wanna...i wanna...i will

Unwritten

2009-03-24T06:47:00.003-04:00

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The words to this song have such great meaning to me. These days, even more so. I have realized and gone through so much in the past 6 monhts and not all of my experiences have been positive ones. I know though that everything does happen for a reason, even the bad stuff. The stuff that knocks us to our knees in prayer, that is what makes us stronger than we thought we ever could be.
We go through things that leave us a bit broken, and sometimes we have support from all of our loved ones. Sometimes we dont. I have learned once and for all through a really devestating time in my life, who my friends are. And let me tell you, i have a lot less friends than i thought i did. BUT the ones that really love me and support me unconditionally are still here. Still listening, loving and praying for me and my well being. Two people in particular who have just stood by me and loved me no matter what was going on, what i did, how hard it is....Evelyn and Kathleen.
It's amazing how close you can be to people you share no blood with. In my case, my friends ARE my family.
EV
Evelyn is someone i have known for 25 years, and with our ups and downs, highs and lows, she has always stood by my side. ALways ready to share her advice or opinions, even when i didnt want to hear it! But always with love, always. We have both come a long way since that day we met back in Mr. Fried's homeroom class, and i am so glad we came this way together. She became my sister a long long time ago and i am so grateful and blessed to know her. Her family is my family and i am connected to her in a way i will never be with anyone else. We share similar history, and that bonds us. She understands me, most of the time, lol. She has given me great gifts in Jordann and Brandon, who are part of my heart and soul. I have always looked up to her, she was always the strong one, and still is. I gain a little strength from her every time we speak. And even though we disagree about so much, i dont worry about her loyalty or love, that is what family is about.

KAT
People always say you will never find love in a bar. Well, i beg to differ! I met Kathleen almost 8 years ago in a bar. We were there for karaoke, a hobby we both share. I clicked with her right away, she was probably the most genuine person i had ever met in my life. Over the years we got closer, but the last two really solidified our friendship. She has been there for me in ways that i never dreamed a friend would be. She has taken care of me, and loved me in whatever way i needed at the time, like a child, like a friend, like a sister. I am in awe of her, she is all the things i want to be one day. She saved my life, more than once. She truly is my sister and i feel blessed to know her, and am a better, more whole person for knowing her. Her children have become a part of me as well, giving me great joy. She has faith in me, believes in me...and lets me know it all the time...how do i deserve her?? Dont think i do, but Lord am i grateful she is here. The little xoxoxo's in my tattoo are for her.

Ink

2009-03-18T09:37:00.001-04:00

I can't wait to get my new tattoo....going on Saturday at 1pm....woooohooooo....i had one idea in mind, and adding a little extra something to it for someone amazing.

Finding INspiration

2008-11-15T11:07:00.002-05:00

I started this painting months ago...havent touched it in a while...been looking at her looking at me and i feel like maybe it's time to pick up the brush again...so much has been going on the past few weeks, i haven't had much inspiration to paint or do anything creative really. But now i am getting the little voices (not the crazy kind), whispering that its time, time to express myself through art again, time to start scrapbooking again...to make goals, to believe that i can do anything i set my mind to.
I've been reading a lot and that has been my creative escape, even though its someone elses creativity that i am escaping through...Twilight by Stephanie Meyer....what can i say?? I read it in two days....and am on to New Moon now...i am totally and utterly taken in by the story and the characters....it is passionate and magical and i cant wait to see what they do with the movie...if you havent already, check out the trailer...

Dancing in the rain....

2008-09-30T15:51:00.003-04:00

This was a commission painting i recentley finished...

Moving forward

2008-09-24T14:09:00.006-04:00

I am in a different phase of my life right now...transitioning from what i used to be to what i want to be...I lived my life for so long in a sort of shell, physically and mentally and now that the layers are shedding i am ready to move forward with my life. Be productive and proud of who i am, contribute something to more than just myself and my intimate circle. I want to spread my wings and do things that i am scared to do.

Gentle Soul

2008-09-16T15:59:00.001-04:00

Another Journey

2008-09-12T13:08:00.000-04:00

Journey...

2008-09-04T20:30:00.003-04:00

I worked on this piece for the past two days, finally finished it a little while ago, i love how it turned out!! I love being inspired and getting a good result, it fills me with so much joy!! Hope you are all having a wonderful and blessed week so far!

Finished pieces...woo hooo!!!!

2008-09-04T09:27:00.003-04:00

I finally had some inspiration and finished these paintings...i am pretty happy with them!! They are now listed on my ebay!!! Thanks for looking!!!

picking up the paintbrush

2008-08-28T11:25:00.002-04:00

OKay so last week i started to feel the itch to paint again and this time actually had some inspiration...not done yet, but thought i would share what i have been working on. I know i have been pretty absent from blogland as of late, but a lot is going on i guess...Hope to be finished with these soon, also might have a commission job, working on a sketch for that in the next few days. Send some creative love my way guys, i am needing it right now!

2008-08-14T11:11:00.000-04:00

Can we say CREATIVE BLOCK????

Unlocking her heart....

2008-06-30T17:58:00.000-04:00

New Ebay Listings....

2008-06-30T17:10:00.003-04:00

Hi all, well i finally got around to putting some of the finished paintings on ebay today!! Woohoo!!! Here is what is being offered...

Getting it out with paint.....

2008-06-17T22:09:00.003-04:00

SEEKING

CONTENTED PEACE

THE WEAKNESS IN ME

Hoping to put these and a few others on Ebay this weekend!

so i actually picked up a brush.....

2008-06-11T13:13:00.005-04:00

on saturday i was feeling a bit like i needed to get something out, and although i am not super thrilled with it, this was what came out, lol....

The second one i had done a couple of weeks ago....

And the last one is still not finished but i pretty much know what she is going to say when she is done, I think.

I carry your heart.....

2008-04-30T13:27:00.003-04:00

Though much time had passed, she kept holding on to it, knowing that one day she would return it to it's rightful owner...

A Gift....

2008-04-26T22:33:00.001-04:00

Love.

2008-04-25T23:00:00.001-04:00

She is finished....

2008-04-18T15:58:00.006-04:00

She heard the noise for so long, living with voices in each ear, yelling and screaming doubt and insecurity...then one day, she closed her eyes for a moment, she cried out in her heart...and she heard Him say the words....Be Still...and the resulting peace of silence has been with her ever since

*Update* Be Still is now sold.

Dwelling in the possibilities

2008-04-17T10:19:00.002-04:00

Be Still....in progress

2008-04-14T16:51:00.000-04:00

Paint under my nails...

2008-04-07T18:12:00.002-04:00

I plan to have these listed on Ebay by the end of the week....keep your fingers crossed for me!

2008-04-05T14:16:00.002-04:00

Heart reads "Love Life and Believe in Miracles".
This painting is now available on Ebay...check it out!!
Thanks for looking and have a great day.

2008-04-05T11:04:00.002-04:00

So these are my two latest...i am in love with winged hearts, have been for years. I have one of my very early pieces hanging over my fireplace, and it is a huge heart with collaged wings...a couple of weeks ago i was inspired to try it again. My first winged heart is listed on Etsy right now..this one is my second will hopefully list it next week sometime. But of course if you are interested, just email me :)
The other is another collage work entitled 'I will not be silenced". It means so many things to me, and might mean something different to you. Either way i hope it speaks to you...God Bless and Have a beautiful day.

Working on....

2008-03-31T13:06:00.002-04:00

This is just a little peek at the new painting i have been working on...hope to have it done by the end of the week.

2008-03-27T11:59:00.002-04:00

This print is now available in my Etsy Shop

Bloom again...

2008-03-25T11:03:00.007-04:00

Another Bloom, although different from the last one. I think we all need to open up and flower, dust off the dry soil of winter, and flourish. SO many colors to be, so just bloom.......
(this piece is available, contact me if you are interested)

New Lower Prices....

2008-03-18T14:34:00.003-04:00

Hi all...i have decided to lower my prices in my Etsy shop. Since i am just starting out, i think maybe it is a wise thing to do. I am doing it more for the love of painting and creating than for making money...but i still want to sell my stuff, lol. So hopefully this will work out better for me... Also just added these two originals to my shop...take a look and feel free to contact me with any questions!!

No words

2008-03-17T11:55:00.002-04:00

Sometimes there are no words to describe what we are feeling, what is on the surface of our hearts. Sometimes no words are good, and sometimes the silence can be absolutely deafening....

Illustration Friday- Garden

2008-03-13T12:23:00.001-04:00

Okay i am a tad late with this one, lol...this is a piece i did a while ago (and just sold last week woohoo!!!)Thanks for looking!!

love...

2008-03-11T10:15:00.003-04:00

Blessed is now available

2008-03-10T09:43:00.002-04:00

Blessed is now available on my Etsy Shop!

2008-03-07T08:43:00.002-05:00

Just a peek at what i have been working on as of late...these should be in my etsy shop by next week...just need some finishing touches.

IMT and IF- Leap

2008-03-02T15:25:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted anything on Inspire Me Thursday in a while...and this is my first submission to Illustration Friday, but i wanted to for this prompt. I am not super thrilled with my artwork on this but you get the point of it, at least i hope you do. This is how i feel most of the time concerning my art, my life, just about everything i do lately feels big, like i am taking a giant leap of faith, or just jumping off a cliff, either one...
I realize that i have to take these leaps to get where i want to be though...just putting myself and my artwork out there for people to see is huge. Huge for me. I am leaping into this headfirst, eyes closed and heart wide open for all the goodness that is to come....

New Listings on Etsy

2008-02-26T14:42:00.004-05:00

Good afternoon all....I decided to list some more pieces on Etsy. I am not giving up. When i first started painting again after not picking up a brush in years, i made a painting as a gift for an artist that has inspired me so much. I added a quote to the painting.

>"When the world says to give up, Hope whispers "try it one more time"

I will keep at this until the passion for it leaves my heart. So needless to say i dont think i will be giving up any time soon...lol. Take a look here, and feel free to contact me with any questions, ideas, critisicms, or anything else. THanks. Have a creative day.

Sacred Life Day One

2008-02-21T10:47:00.004-05:00

So let's start with this...painting...a passion of mine for so long. There are times when i am so caught up that i dream about painting. I dreamt of a painting that i felt i was supposed to paint for about 4 days in a row last week, but i cant seem to put it on canvas. I am trying to be more diligent in sketching out and then painting (again, i want immediate results, lol)...putting more thought into it than just freewheeling and expecting it to come out like it does in my head...some people can do that...i am apparently not one of those people. It means so much to me to be able to do this. To be able to create with my hands, and for it to mean something to someone out there. I am tired of comparing myself to everyone else, and berating myself for not being 'good enough'. The time for that is over, and with God's help i will overcome that insecurity. This year will be my year of finding out what kind of artist i am...what my 'style' is and where this will take me...
Feel free to comment on my artwork and even to give some criticism (be gentle on me). And thank you for stopping by...Hope you have a creative and inspiring day.

latest....

2008-02-19T17:25:00.002-05:00

Bloom SOLD

Inspiration

2007-12-17T10:50:00.000-05:00

I have been inspired by Kelly Rae Roberts' artwork since i came across it last year sometime, and it has really fueled my desire to paint more and more. I am still struggling with trying to find my own style and of course trying not to compare myself to all those great artists whose work truly speaks to me..Kelly Rae's second article in CPS was awesome, and she detailed how she creates her wonderful works of art. So in trying to find MY OWN style lately i have decided to give myself a break and learn some tips and techniques from others, taking in the ideas and creativity that sometimes escapes me. So here is what i have been doing with my paints and brushes as of late...just for fun.

Presents!!!

2007-12-16T22:31:00.001-05:00

I had a happy surprise left on my doorstep on Friday from the postman...a package from my friend Kim!!! It was so unexpected and completely wonderful! And yes that is a moleskin sketchbook...woohoo!! I cannot wait to wreck my "wreck this journal" book!!! And "Journal Revolution" is awesome and had been my companion this weekend! Thank You Kim, You ROCK!!!!

New Thoughts

2007-12-11T19:15:00.000-05:00

This is my latest art journal page. I was having trouble working on this these past few months since surgery but i finally got this one finished. It's just about planting seeds of hope and positivity and truth. That has become what my intentions are for this new me, this new life that still intermingles with the old one....

Wish...

2007-11-27T10:06:00.000-05:00

In the new issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine, Kelly Rae tells us how she creates her amazing pieces. I love her work and am a proud owner of two originals, and being an artist am always interested in how others create their art. SO, i tried my hand at her technique and totally fell in love with it. It really does lend a whole different feel to a painting. This is my take on it. I kind of modeled it after Kelly Rae's 'Breathe', but am going to add the word 'wish' to mine. Thanks Kelly Rae for always inspiring with your words and your work!!

Gravity...I don't want to fall another moment

2007-11-08T11:53:00.000-05:00

I haven't been listening to my music as much since surgery. I guess i just have been a little bit out of it and not interested in anything except getting back to normal, ya know. But as i paint more i listen to music more, if that makes any sense. It inspires me. 'Gravity' started as a bright fun painting then turned a little bit more subdued as time went on. I think this song might have had something to do with it, lol...

Thought Angel

2007-11-01T00:25:00.000-04:00

I started this one a few months ago and didnt really feel like i could do any more on it until today. I finally found her face. I was so happy to have finished her.

Just do it....

2007-10-29T19:05:00.001-04:00

So it's been a little over a month since i have been able to drive. The slow healing wounds from surgery have kind of kept me in the house, and the cold weather (i am freezing a lot lately) has me walking indoors instead of out. My already old wooden floors have a new pattern in them around my dining table, lol. Sooooo, yesterday i decided to give it a try. I basically went around the corner to the gas station and then promptly handed the keys to my hubby. It was nerve wracking- and it's hard to hold my incision and the steering wheel at the same time. I spoke to my new friend Jennifer today and she advised me to just get in the car and do it. It will hurt but its gonna hurt for a while anyway and i just cant be cooped up in the house anymore. SO tomorrow i will promise myself to venture on out in my car...ugh.

Healing...

2007-10-19T11:06:00.000-04:00

I am getting a little better but still not able to drive or sleep in a bed. Recovery is slow and draining, both physically and mentally, but i just keep praying to get better every day, and i am little by little. Thanks to everyone for their good wishes and prayers, i appreciate it.
I was able to paint a bit the other day, still have to add to this but wanted to share something since its been such a while....i want to add some collage elements to this because the intensity i want to convey isnt there yet...take care all...hugs.

Sacred Life 5- New Beginnings

2007-09-24T09:43:00.001-04:00

Okay can i just say that i am loving working on this art journal of mine? I thought it was going to be something i used to capture the odd dreams i have on occasion or maybe a simple little drawing here and there with some poetry or a word or two. But its becoming something more personal and more graphic than i thought it would be. It is really filling a need for me at the moment as well. I dont think just plain ole journaling would convey what i need to say at this point in my life. Not at this moment anyway....
It might be hard to read it on this picture but these are the words...(i am tending to work left to right in this book, dont know why, lol)
On the left- ' The layers were starting to get too heavy. She had started shedding them in her mind, but you couldn't tell by looking at her...'
On the right- 'Underneath it all lies her truth'

Out of the Woods

2007-09-20T00:04:00.000-04:00

She walked through a dark forest of tall, scary trees...their branches trying to grab her, pull her under into the deep, to the place where she could never escape. She fought, scratching and clawing her way, and finally, after what seemed like years, she was free. Some scars remain as proof of what she went through- and what she overcame. Proof that she was out of the woods, and a reminder that the forest was always there, waiting to take hold again.

Work in progress

2007-09-14T18:21:00.000-04:00

Trying to finally finish two paintings i started weeks ago...i usually never work on more than one thing at a time, because when i do, the projects just take forever, lol. It gives me artists block!! Hopefully be done soon though so i can work on some new ideas........

Sacred Life 3

2007-09-13T15:50:00.001-04:00

This is my very first 'art journal' page..I started by painting a book my dear hubby no longer wanted, painted over a couple of pages with gesso, then white paint, i printed out a black and white photo and transferred the image with gel medium(thanks Misty) and painted over it with watercolors, added journaling and i just love how it came out...

Sacred Life #1

2007-09-07T18:20:00.000-04:00

Okay so it's not the best photo in the world, but this is something that i feel deeply connected with....being in my work (or play, however you look at it) space with my brushes and my paints and the splatters all over my table. I feel like i am doing something that i HAVE to and WANT to do, even if i question my abilities all the time. I love to paint, i love what it does for my soul, my mind and my heart.

Poetry Thursday Poem....

2007-08-24T11:04:00.000-04:00

Okay so i found this site, Poetry Thursday a while ago, but i never participated because i hadn't written poetry in years and years...Then i wrote a poem for Inspire Me Thursday...so i decided to try it out...Check them out, they will only be around for a couple more weeks...(but maybe if enough people ask nicely they won't close down!!) ANYWAY..the topic was sublimation (and yes i had to look it up because i didn't know what it meant, lol)which means an event that occurs when something passes from one state or phase to another. They asked us to take the last line of the last poem we wrote and start from there, so that is what i did..Here it is hope you like it.

My Voice

To listen to my voice
not an easy task for me
I didn't know the sound
until just recentely.

I decided one day
that i needed to find it
to seek out my voice
and no longer keep quiet.

Slowly i searched
looking in places put away
when all of a sudden
it appeared almost as clear as day.

It peeked it's head out
and i watched it unfurl
my voice that had hidden
inside that scared little girl.

She's had some practice
over the past couple of years
speaking and laughing
even screaming through tears.

i decided that day
that i needed to find it
to seek out my voice
Now i no longer keep quiet.

Inspire Me Thursday- Watercolor

2007-08-17T23:50:00.000-04:00

This week on IMT the topic was watercolor...so i decided to share a painting that i actually posted a couple of weeks ago...it is my first attempt at using watercolors, which i also combined with acrylics, and instead of canvas i painted on heavyweight watercolor paper. I like the softness of the watercolor paint and i actually find it quite easy to work with...
Thanks for looking and i appreciate any feedback!

Inspire Me Thursday

2007-08-14T22:18:00.001-04:00

On Inspire me Thursday (a creative website), the topic this week was DNA. I thought about doing a sketch but the words just came easier to me....

Trying everyday to let go
and forget them
what they did
and what they said.
Won't let them in
to tear me down
to make me cry
make me hate myself.
Blood was only thicker
when there was no other choice
now i'm grown and not afraid
to listen to my voice.

Party Was Awesome

2007-08-14T11:04:00.000-04:00

I have to say that ArtsyMama's blogger party was awesome. I had a great time going to visit new blogs and getting comments from people about mine. Thanks to everyone about the sweet comments on my sign!! I received so many compliments that i am thinking about making a few for my etsy shop!!Shop has been stuck at 3 pieces sold and i really dont know what to do about it. I am hoping to get a few more paintings finished this week, they are a little bit different. I have been in a softer, happier mood with my painting as of late...i am still going to keep painting though...it will happen eventually.

ARTFUL BLOGGER PARTY

2007-08-08T01:23:00.000-04:00

Hello all! I am so excited about ArtsyMama's Blog Party today!!! I have never really participated in one of these before but i am really excited to get to know some of you Artsy Folk out there, lol. I hope you like my sign...made it out of chipboard and buttons, some rub ons and a wee bit of lace...
I am fairly new to blogging world, only a few months, and i recently opened my very own shop on Etsy (woohoo!!!). I love to create and share my art with others. Take a look around...and i look forward to hearing from you fellow artful bloggers!!!!

Home is in Reach

2007-08-07T14:32:00.001-04:00

This is my new piece. It is the second in my fantasy series (and it is available at my shop ) The first one (Hope in her Heart) sold last week...This one is on watercolor paper though, not canvas. Wanted to try it out and i really love the results (it's a change for me, i usually only paint on canvas- or walls, lol) Still trying to figure out whether to do a tutorial or a vignette showing for tomorrow's Artsymama blog...i will post a link to the site tomorrow...excited about it, i never seem to participate in stuff like this but want to get to know some artsy bloggers!!!

Come on Girls.....

2007-08-06T19:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, so maybe that last question didn't inspire you enough to answer??? But let's get those minds working and figure it out...what have YOU dont today to make you feel proud???? There must be something...lke remembering to take medication, or not hitting someone who really irritated you, or saying hi to that co worker that you just can't stand...there must be something people!!!!

Made For Me

2007-08-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

It's my version of Snow White...

2007-08-01T12:04:00.001-04:00

This is a painting done on watercolor paper that i did last night...couldnt sleep. It's funny, sometimes i question my stuff and lately when i do that, i can't seem to stop painting, lol. I know things take time and i love this so i really cant stop. I have goals and i know that i will reach them, no matter how long it takes.

Showcase Excitement

2007-07-30T00:55:00.001-04:00

I am so excited about this!! I was able to secure a spot on Etsy's Main Showcase today. Please check it out. I have been sketching out a new little series that i am really happy about. The first one in the series is called "with hope in her heart" and it is now available, along with a bunch of other paintings. There are 4 new ones that i just added today. Please check it out if you get a chance. Thanks so much!!!!!

Inspiration

2007-07-22T16:55:00.001-04:00

I have been holed up in my room today painting...going in a bit of a different direction this time....feeling a bit more in fantasy type mood, and want my painting to reflect that. The sadness in my work is gone for the most part, but i am sure not for good....
Listening to music, painting, enjoying some white wine...it's a good day.

Cottage on the Beach

2007-07-18T14:23:00.001-04:00

That's what i want. Just a small one...a clean cozy space. Somewhere i can paint with the sound of the ocean in the background, with the smell of the sea and the sand and everything beachy that i love. With an old beat up leather couch in a funky color against cool white walls and painted wooden floor. With a small kitchen that houses a turquoise vintage fridge with endless supply of cold water, apples, green grapes and coca cola for the hubby and diet wild cherry pepsi for me. A cd player streaming plain white T's and ingrid michaelson, and kelly clarkson. A bookshelf full of unread books just waiting to be read. Not too much to ask is it? *sigh* one day, one day.

Just a thought....

2007-07-10T14:57:00.001-04:00

Okay so i tend to worry a lot and maybe complain a lot (so people say) and can be a bit of a pessimist (although i have gotten SO much better about that) sometimes. On one of my usual strolls through the blogs i wander on i read a post about someone who is taking a vow to stop complaining, nagging and being a glass half empty type of person in general. Sounded good to me. SO what do you all think? Can you forgo all of that? It's amazing, i have been a lot more aware of the things i say and do and even think and cannot believe how much of it is crap thinking. I dont want to be a pessimist. I dont want to complain about stuff all the time and i dont want to nag...I promise myself to be better about all of that. And to all of my smart aleck friends out there who feel they need to remind me if i DO complain, kindly keep it to your self because then you too would be guilty of nagging, lol....just a thought. Gimee some feedback, if you want, that wasnt nagging, lol....oh my gosh here we go, lol.

My Etsy Shop is Open!!!

2007-07-07T16:39:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone!! My paintings are now online on the etsy website.....
You can just go there and search for LinaBabes under user names or just click here and it will take you to my page...Thanks for looking!!!!

Hopefully....

2007-07-03T09:44:00.000-04:00

Hopefully i will get everything i need to do today DONE....I should get moving instead of sitting here at my computer but i need to fully wake up first, lol. I guess it wouldnt be the end of the world if i didnt get a pedicure today but i could use some new tootsie paint for the wedding-being that i messed up the polish from the last pedi the SAME DAY i got it. Last night was a frustrating one, could not for the life of me figure out how to make a banner for my Etsy shop (i am tech challenged) without distorting my image...so i made a crappy one, not really what i wanted....I also like what Kelly Rae does to her art, she has a watermark so that people know its copyrighted...i can do that in Photoshop, but for some reason it is difficult to get my Photoshop pics online...told you i am technically challenged. Is it too much to ask to have a nice banner and a watermark over my pictures? i think not....i came up with a DIY solution for the watermark at least...i will try it out later today if there is time of course....off to have some Kashi (honey almond flax somthing or other) and coffee........have a terrific day friends...........

no snappy title

2007-06-29T11:55:00.000-04:00

I can't think of a good title for today's entry really. I am feeling kind of blah, maybe i am just tired. I think i am getting too old for staying out until almost one am...although i was staying out until much later than that just a few months ago. I guess i am questioning my place in the whole scene i have been such a big part of for so long now. I know for sure that things don't fall apart if i am not there, and that there are always singers lurking out there...i dont need to save the day (not that i ever really did, lol). I dont know, maybe the weather (dreary and rainy) is putting me in a mood.

Yesterday was the first day in about 2 weeks that i didnt pick up a paintbrush or sketch pad...i guess i was needing a break and today as i sit here typing i feel the urge to sketch out my feelings and put a face to the melancholy. Other than my own of course. I am hoping to get my Etsy shop open this weekend...I am not too nervous about that. I do think though- Hmm what if no one looks at my work, nevermind buy a piece? LOL, that would so not be funny....I do have delusions that someone will love all the pieces though and then commission me to make 50 more JUST FOR HER...lol...ok i know i have gone off the deep end...Anyway here's my latest....

New Paintings...

2007-06-26T17:38:00.000-04:00

I have some new ones finished...i seem to be going more in the Pulp art direction now,lol...guess i am still finding my own style...I am going to be listing on Etsy hopefully this weekend...i need to figure out how to make a banner and how much to price these at......ugh...maybe wont be done till next weekend, lol...

Kelly Clarkson and other goodies....

2007-06-26T13:23:00.000-04:00

Oh here is a self portrait in my environment....i saw it on Kelly Rae's site and thought it was interesting so i thought "why not..."

Okay so maybe i am a little bit more excited about the Kelly clarkson album (My December) than i should be....but forgive me. I LOVE her, her music, her passion, her talent....always have...this one might be the best yet...So far my favorite song on the album is "Sober". I have been listening to it all morning....

Anyway i finished another painting last night. More on the pulp art front, different from the others i have done. Very excited, i am proud of it...

On a different note, i have to say that a certain friend of mine (Pammo) brought me to tears last night with a beautiful email. I cannot even express the love and absolute awe at what she wrote to me last night...it made me cry with happiness....something i haven't done in a very long time. Thank you my dear dear friend...love you.

What I've been doing...

2007-06-21T10:47:00.001-04:00

Okay so here is what i have been doing for the past 2 weeks, lol....These are only the ones i am letting you see!! I have issues with showing what i consider to be total crap, but these i am satisfied with...I must say that i am delighted with the beachy looking one..She is my favorite...Working on another piece as we speak, got sidetracked cleaning out my studio yesterday for about 8 HOURS!!!! Anyway look for my Etsy shop soon...probably at least another 2 to 3 weeks....Thanks for looking everyone!!!! Kisses!!!

*ramblings.....

2007-06-17T23:50:00.000-04:00

dont usually show stuff before it is done, but i thought what the heck....This is part of a group i am working on lately. The first one called Hope has already been given away and unfortunately i didnt scan it really well so i cant show it but i was really proud of it. This is my third "keeper" as i call the ones that i think will be good enough to sell. THe others just go into a pile for me to figure out what to do with them, cause they are really just crap.
The weekend started out promising....then kind of fizzled out in a weird way. Almost like i wasnt even here and its days like that that make me wonder why i am? I didnt have a super day...kinda feeling bogged down by things that are supposed to get done but never do and feeling useless to kind of change things on my own....i cant do it all....i am rambling...gonna go to bed.

*my prayer in the ceiling)

2007-06-11T14:14:00.001-04:00

When i was about 8 or 9 years old ( could have been younger i dont ) i was so consumed with a love of art. I used to draw and color and hole up in the safety of my room and imagine a different life on paper. I saw an episode of Little House on the Prairie. The one where Laura goes to the mountain to get as close to God as she can so that she can ask him to save her little brother...Well...i figured i couldnt get to a mountain, but (i am such a dork) at that age the ceiling in the basement seemed like a good alternative...i wrote a note...something to the effect of
"Dear God,
Please let me be an artist when i grow up.
Thank you.
Love Lina"
I got up on a chair, and put the folded up note up into one of the drop ceiling tiles. I figured God would get it. I know now that i didnt need to write a note, he heard me and he did what i asked....how cool is that.

Pretty Picture

2007-06-05T11:18:00.000-04:00

This is the best shot i got from Ila and Sal's wedding...it makes my heart melt. I feathered them out and left the background in color and changed them to black and white....love it...and love you guys too....

***happy thursday

2007-05-31T10:46:00.001-04:00

I made this bag tag for a baby present that i got for my neighbor's new baby girl. Thought i would share...

Good Day!

2007-05-16T10:54:00.000-04:00

Hey thanks for checkin out my page guys, it means a lot to me... And Milena i will definetley see you Friday!! Have a couple of projects going to work on today...i actually made a pair of earring last night (i so dont need another thing to do, lol) i think they are kinda cute in a "retro, in right now kinda way"...whatcha think? Okay i will check in later..i have to go put on some music (lovin the Plain White T's right now...thanks for that Elsie!)

I Heart Self Portraits

2007-05-15T15:57:00.001-04:00

Okay so i am not totally full of myself but i have become a fan of self portraits...there are barely no pics of me from the first three quarters of my life...which is why i seem to always be the pest with the camera where ever i am, lol.....

Wanna Make a Memory...my journey

a new year

Life is Good

18 years ago..........

Waking

The bend in the road.......

Today is the best present

Locks of Love....XoXoXo

Boo

Inspired Life

Bitter and Sweet of 2009

Thoughts Spilling.........

Thank you Misty Mawn

Even the dark won't stop you....

New Path....New Life...New Adventures....

Imagine Magazine is up and running......

Been forever.......

Done........

Working....

wanna........

Unwritten

Ink

Finding INspiration

Dancing in the rain....

Moving forward

Gentle Soul

Another Journey

Journey...

Finished pieces...woo hooo!!!!

picking up the paintbrush

Unlocking her heart....

New Ebay Listings....

Getting it out with paint.....

so i actually picked up a brush.....

I carry your heart.....

A Gift....

Love.

She is finished....

Dwelling in the possibilities

Be Still....in progress

Paint under my nails...

Working on....

Bloom again...

New Lower Prices....

No words

Illustration Friday- Garden

love...

Blessed is now available

IMT and IF- Leap

New Listings on Etsy

Sacred Life Day One

latest....

Inspiration

Presents!!!

New Thoughts

Wish...

Gravity...I don't want to fall another moment

Thought Angel

Just do it....

Healing...

Sacred Life 5- New Beginnings

Out of the Woods

*Work in progress*

Sacred Life 3

Sacred Life #1

Poetry Thursday Poem....

Inspire Me Thursday- Watercolor

*Inspire Me Thursday*

Party Was Awesome

*ARTFUL BLOGGER PARTY*

*Home is in Reach*

*Come on Girls.....*

*Made For Me*

It's my version of Snow White...

*Showcase Excitement*

*Inspiration*

Cottage on the Beach

Just a thought....

My Etsy Shop is Open!!!

Hopefully....

Work in progress

Inspire Me Thursday

ARTFUL BLOGGER PARTY

Home is in Reach

Come on Girls.....

Made For Me

Showcase Excitement

Inspiration

no snappy title

New Paintings...

What I've been doing...